Be grateful for what you got, but don’t force yourself to stay in any situation.
I am completely grateful for help, for anyone that comes into my life and aims to help with anything-getting something done, fixing something, creating something-even just helping me become happy when they know that I am sad.
But at the same time- does that mean I should feel obligated to always be happy, to always want them around?-to always show my gratefulness?
There are times-when I need space. Who doesn’t need space?
Its a back forth dilemma with me as I hate when I am alone all the time-and then I am incredibly happy to have others around-its just not always easy to have others around all the time because I am a creature of solitude- or I used to be-for a VERY long time.
So I think to myself- are my frustrations with people-coming from that mere fact that I am not used to having people around me all the time. I am NOT USED TO having help- ALL THE TIME.
Honestly-it makes me feel weak-it makes me feel vulnerable and I am constantly wanting to push it away. I don’t like the idea of getting used to having people around-therefor- I show anger towards them- I show frustration.
I have to watch what I do or say because that may make them never want to come around again.
I want to make it clear-and I try. I tell them over and over again that I am grateful-I just won’t always show it is I am battling with how to get over my need for such space. But maybe I shouldn’t. I don’t feel like having some space is a bad thing-it’s just finding a way to communicate that need for space-without hurting someones feelings. t am in hopes that they are understanding of my ways-but one can only hope for others to think the same.
What are your ideas of space? How much do you need? Do you have any ideas that could help me?
Lately I am trying not to be so down and out-I have an idea its something to do with my nutrition also-that will do for my next post.
XO, Jenni L T