Is this a Love Letter my friend?
For I wish to taste all the mastery that there is to find in all the magical things.
For I think about this often-see.
Something just doesn’t seem alright to me.
Maybe its in my Rushing we.
The way I’m normally Rushing things.
How am I supposed to tell these things?
Maybe it’s just not the right time you see.
Just as I shouldn’t be Rushing things-
I know that I shouldn’t be Rushing we.
I’m always trying to find out-
just why it wouldn’t work-
creating even more problems for myself-
comes to show how much more I need to learn.
There is no problem with you-
The problem arises with me.
The problem arises with me.
You teach me to enjoy all the little things-
you teach me to slow down.
You make me feel like the world will not collapse-
every time I yield a frown.
So I think to myself-
Why not choose Love?
It makes all much easier to deal.
Maybe I just feel I have not yet earned it-
to live my life I have yet still.
Although…I see my heart could end with you-
because who doesn’t appreciate such Love?
For theres nothing wrong with someone so patient and daring-
to stick around a Flux.
And such Flux I do still yield-
—I don’t know how to divide our time—
And I should face the fact of how scared I can be-
to deal with life alone.
It’s difficult in finding that balance between living for myself and no one else.
I must seek to fight the void I’ve noticed-
one thats eager to be filled.
How I used to never be one to be noticed-
& I am dealing with that still.
It feels alright to receive attention-
but not in the way that has begun to persist.
I think in all the ways to receive attention-
I’m more eager to have it be
The truth of the matter is-that I must learn how to be on my own.
I must learn to LOVE MYSELF…BY MYSELF. This is challenging.
That is not saying that I should isolate myself all the time ( I know this, I am nothing without help from others), but I simply must work on being okay with getting uncomfortable with life, and not having a “boyfriend” to hold onto. It is merely a challenge I am setting myself to face-and might just be the hardest thing I ever do.
I believe I am at a stage in my life where I have come to realize that I should not rush things. There is a part of me that is oh so used to having something. Something. Something. Someone. There. All the time. My past comes back to haunt me as I used to not always be an “attractive” human being to man. Now, apparently- I am.
I told a friend recently that I used to never get that kind of attention-and I think thats a void that my subconscious has been wanting to fill. And it’s okay to have that for a while, but it’s also kind of disturbing-that such exterior factors may determine someones point of view on a person. I dislike that more thank I like it.
So I am noting that I am aiming instead to focus my energy on helping people and building greatly inspiring and positive friendships-not by seeking their attention. I know there is a light in me that turns on every time I have a discussion about fitness, exercise, health, well being. I guess I have battled quite a road and I want others to be open to the positive possibilities there is out there for them. Things that have helped me too-while of course keeping my mind open-for I am forever too, a student.
I also want to help other people-because I believe that each one of them has something they can teach me too.
So in that time, I aim to enjoy every day, fall in love with myself,fall in love with nature, take care of myself, go on adventures, embrace the body I’m living in and learn to still connect with other people. Helping them with whatever challenges they too may face. I want them to know that they are not alone-
and I know that neither am I as long as I keep myself open to communication and learning-
all at my own individual pace.
Love my FAMILY, love my FRIENDS, love my LIFE and the JOURNEY it is taking me on.
JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP, DOESN’T MEAN YOU CANNOT LOVE.