its a part of reconstruction.
of the remolding to distinctly determine the “why am I here?” question of life.
but an upside of losing yourself,
is the ability to find yourself again.
Needless to say, Ive been cleaning myself out a bit (my apartment actually), and I have stumbled upon lots of writing and doodles that honestly make me quite sad to see. Sad because this love of creating (which I still seem to do when I have the time) has faded. I have attempted to accept that it will be like this, working on small projects at a time, at least until school is over…but yeah..it just feels like I’m losing/missing a part of myself.
It is what it is…
here is a quote I’ve jotted down in one my many notebooks of thought collecting and manifesting:
“There are seeds within her that burst at intervals and for a little while she would come back to heaviness, and then before a surging miracle of blood, relax, and re-identify yourself, each time more closely with the heart of life. “I am the beginning, the never ending, the perfect tree.” And she would lean again as one on the great curve of the earth, part of its turning, as distinctly part of the universe as a star-as unresistant, as completely rhythmical.” -May Sarton 1937
And indeed, I feel this cleaning out, is merely in preparation for something bigger. That sense of finding that missing link once again.
Keep doing what you do. Do what you do, and be you. There is no rush in happiness.